The Cheese Bowl

In the mist of all this seriousness I must share a bit of Seinfeld randomness. Tell me if you know what I'm talking about or if this is just another thing I am out in left field picking daisies on.
You know how Italian restaurants bring out your food and then the waiter asks...Would you like some "Insert Cool Name" cheese on that mam? You say "Yes please". They proceed in giving you the ration of cheese that they most likely are trained to put on the dish to keep food cost down as you watch thinking nervously....should I ask for more? Will I look like a pig if I do? Then they pull the bowl/shredder thingy back and say "would you like some more?" And you say..."That's good, thanks."

Why do we do this? We are PAYING for the food and the service why should we feel bad for wanting more cheese. And why must it feel like a throw back to Oliver Twist as if our Please Sir May I Have Some More will result in a beat down from the wait staff. And why MUST they put the cheese on for you? You never even get to touch the damn bowl? I never really thought twice about the weird cheese dance scenario until tonight.

Tonight...I experienced Cheese Liberation! We broke down the "Do Not Cross" tape at Carrabbas. Tonight kids, are you ready.... WE ASKED FOR THE DAMN BOWL! And he gave it to us. LOL We were in custody of our very own graded Romano cheese bowl. We put cheese on very thing...even in the little dippy oil. It was such a liberating experience! Oh Yeah, wild and crazy Friday at the Carrabbas! So next time the cheese Nazi's try to skimp on your cheese tell them "I'll just take the whole damn thing...Thanks!" :)

Deep Thoughts by Sarah Lee...Tune in next time for "why put the mirror outside of the dressing room" and "why does checking yourself out in the mirror require cocking your head to one side?"!

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Yummy Stuff: Mahi-Mahi Taco Salad

Hey everybody! Mike and I made an extremely yummy dish tonight and I wanted to share it with yas. Mahi-Mahi Taco Salad! We totally winged this one and it come out great!

Mike grilled to perfection the Mahi. He rubbed it with butter, garlic, salt, and fresh squeezed lime juice. I took Rice Pilaf out of the box and added while cooking canned black beans, corn, and Rotel's Diced Tomato with Lime Juice and Cilantro. Put the grilled fish on top of the rice, layered tortillia chips around the edge of the plate, topped it all off with a Chipotle Cream Sauce (from a package...just add butter and milk and boil) and a squeeze or two of lime juice over all of it. Pair it with a cold Corona with a lime. Perfection!

OMG, gotta try this one! Super Easy, Super Yum! Next time I think I'll do it in actual tacos.
***Disclaimer: The beer is Mike's - For those of you who are aware that I have given up alcohol for Lent. But that's another blog, another day. ***

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Thanksgiving In The Miz-O

There is nothing more exciting than finally getting home for the holidays. Despite what may come out of my mouth from time to time in random ventings about home, fact is... the people at home that are still in my life are some of the MOST special individuals. Those words are definately never directed toward them and I hope they know that. They are sooo dear to my heart! They are no longer my friends but truly my family! I love you guys. Thank you for knowing that friendship can cross the state line and that you can remain close at heart even when you are miles apart. Thanks for continuing to be such a loyal and supportive force in my life! Can't Wait To See You! I'm home from Wed. Nov. 21st thru Sun. Nov. 25th.

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Support Mike’s Walk for Diabetes

Hey everyone,

Mike (my husband) and his co-workers at David Weekley are walking in the JDRF's Walk to Cure Diabetes this Saturday, Oct. 27th. One of his co-workers has a little girl that is greatly affected by this disease so the company has decided to help the cause and show support to this family by participating in this walk. Type 1, or juvenile, diabetes, is a devastating disease that affects millions of people a large and growing percentage of them children.

There is some good news, though. For the first time, scientists are predicting that we CAN expect to see a cure well within our lifetime! I know it is short notice but we would really appreciate it if you could take the time to visit his donation page and maybe even show your support for this little girl and her family by making a donation. Even $5 would be so very appreciated.

If you would like to donate you can go to
http://walk.jdrf.org/
scroll to the bottom right box that say "Support a Walker" enter the following information.
First Name: Michael
Last Name: Lee
Team Name: David Weekley Homes
State: North Carolina

Together, we can make the cure a reality! Pass this along to anyone you think would want to support this worthly cause. :)Thanks, Sarah Lee

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EKU Homecoming 2007

Take Me Home Country Roads! Leaving Friday for good ol' EKU Homecoming! Can't Hardly Wait!

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Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."

I'm whispering "I was lost,

Now I'm found and forgiven.

"When I say... "I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumbleand need

Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed

And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible

But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner

Who received God's good grace, somehow!

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A Day In The Life Of.....

"Hey honey, you want to wake up now? I've got breakfast ready." This is how my day started. Sounds nice doesn't it? How could a day that started so well become the inspiration for this negative blog session? Let me enlighten you....
As I stretched and rolled around in the bed struggling to chase away sleep, I was thinking...I wonder what's for breakfast. Did he just heat up a bacon, egg, and cheese lean pocket or did he cook up some eggs. Ah, who cares. It's the fact that me made breakfast that counts. I stroll into the kitchen. I see the coffee has been made, but.....where's my breakfast. I look at the table. Nothing. I look on the stove. I see an empty pan. "Hey honey, where's my breakfast? As I plop down on the couch.
"Did I say breakfast was ready? I meant, I was ready to make breakfast." Whatever, I said as I start up the stairs to have a little wake-up time/myspace check while I wait for the "ready-made breakfast". Then I realized, that's right...the internet is down again. Damn it. Mike suggest that we take the laptop up to Panera to get coffee, grub, and Wi-Fi. So, I redirect myself to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I know once we officially leave the house on a weekend day there is no coming back.
After I've tried on about four different combinations of outfits looking for just the right amount of comfort without looking like a complete scrub or frumpy...I hear: "CRASH! Oh no Fen!" I emerge from the bathroom half-dressed. I lean around the corner to see what my husband and my dog have broken in my kitchen, which just happens to be a vase I just got from Target that matched my kitchen perfectly. It was on clearance, so I know I'll have to settle for something less great to replace it, but without a word I retreat back into the bathroom. Mostly to prevent my grumpy demeanor from causing the situation to escalate to something stupid.
We're off to Panera now. Mike wanting to already start joking around about breaking the vase. He thinks since I didn't fly off the handle he's in the clear to laugh about the whole silly situation. I shoot him a glare that lets him know, he's wrong. He says, "Looks like we'll be making a trip to Target sometime today."
We get to Panera. I think I'm coming out of the morning funk. Mike and I are looking for a table with an outlet for the laptop. We lay Mike's clipboard on a small one we found in a corner under an air-condition vent (burrr) to save it as we both are looking for one of those "I'm a cool Wi-Fi'er" tall tables with an outlet. Mike is standing at the counter now as he directs me to look around the side, "are there any over there". I look, there's not. I'm walking round the corner to find Mike at the register placing his order. I walk towards him, surely he's not ordering already with me on the other side of the restaurant. I approach and he says, "hey I got a coffee and soup, tell the guy what you want." I was half tempted to say I want a tall table with an outlet cuz that is what my mind what set on at that moment, not food.
I feel panic because the order guy is now tapping his fingers on the register and people are forming a line behind us. I rattle off some order based on a lunch I got one time a while back on my lunch break. I'm not a Panera frequenter so I definitely don't have an "I'll have the usual" choice to fall back on. In the matter of two seconds we are back at our small cold table and I'm wondering what the hell I just ordered. Then I realize...I didn't even get a damn coffee!
I get the computer out of my bag, ask Mike to plug it in for me. He said, I'll get us set up. "Well, O.K. but I get to get on it first." He said alright. He gets it plugged in, logged on, signs into Myspace for me...he's really trying at this point. I finish my last bite of sandwich as he decides to do some Fantasy Baseball real fast, pretend like i'm still signing on, she'll never notice. "Thanks" I say. As I reach for the laptop. His face looks scared. I spin it around and the screen says...Yahoo Fantasy Baseball. "Niiiiice."
"I'm going to the restroom. When I come back, you better be done." When I return to the table he rushes to finish his last transaction and hands it over. Then he suggests I have a coffee since I still have not had my morning coffee. As he walks off he says, "Why don't you blog about it. Maybe you'll feel better."
So here I am. Waiting for my morning coffee at noon, at my cold little table, blogging about the day to you.... I must admit. He's right. I do feel better. And I'll feel EVEN better after I make Mike take me to a movie and then shopping at Target! :)
(SIDE NOTE: I'm really not a bitch. Your girl/fiancé/wife is just like me to some extent. I'm just comfortable enough to not only acknowledge it, but actually talk about it in the open....LOL. I'll bet you money that most of the females that read this will find a sense of relief...you aren't the only one that feels this damn CRAZY for absolutely no reason! My advice. Write about it. Get it out of your head and into written word. Those bad feeling will leave you. :) Thank GOD for the men that are able to help us get out of our own way! )
Hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend. I did even though it doesn't sound like it!
Love you all! :)

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Knowing He’s "The One"....

Knowing if he's "The One" is easier than you think. If life were a Jr. High Dance marriage would be the last dance. Every action and moment builds in anticipation of that final moment.

Who will ask for the last dance? Who will it be? You fantasize about just you and him, your dress, the music, how'll he'll ask for your hand. You'll dance as the rest of the world fades into the darkness. Sure, there may have been a couple of guys that could have had the opportunity to ask for your hand, but in the end…the one that puts forth the effort and actually does the asking….he's "The One" that deserves the dance. He stole your heart, he stepped up when no other man did, he chose you above all the others. He's "The One" that will have the first dance, last dance, and every dance in between from now on.

The rest will just fade into the darkness.

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An Ode to Home: Indep. MO

Home is where the heart is. Sounds cheery don't it?
Not so cheery when that warm feeling in your chest when you are at home isn't overflowing happiness, but actually salt being poured into an open wound. A wound you've been trying your whole life to find the right lifestyle to help you suture closed.

Why do people return to such a place? Do they enjoy the pain? Or is it a situation much sadder. Have they really convinced themselves that this torment is "LOVE"?

It becomes easier to comprehend why a person would not rid themselves of this self-inflicted pain when you find out that they are very sadly confused. Like a junkie that knows the drug is bad but lives in anticipation for the next hit. The high fills up the little craters and crevices until they feel whole again with a flawless smooth surface ready to paint on the fake façade and become…..one of them.

Home, home on the range…more like a shooting range where their judging glare bullets through your side, misses your rib, and tears straight through to your self-confidence. How can one damn look slam you back ten years in time? You're better than this, you're better than who you were when you lived in this damn town…. So why can they still spin your head like this after all this time?

Because all the memories, the time invested, and most importantly because they "know you", they "LOVE you". Right?

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Poem by a Talented 14yr. Old

Crossties

By Bradly Brackenbury
(14yrs. old)

We're going somewhere far away
The tracks will take us there
Angel dust atop the path
Cherubs in celestial fare
Chirps of crickets, hoots of owls
And the splashing of the ores
Have synchronized the beating
Of my brittle heart and yours
Listen to the rain, the love
The magick in the air
Sometimes simple natures ties
The bonds that lovers share
Fireflies circle 'round
Our beautiful embrace
All the light the moon can give
Glimmers in your face

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GOD or No GOD?

Since I talk of God alot in my blogs I have recently gotten messages from people trying to get a rise out of me debating if God is real. I wanted to share one of these messages with you and my reply.

He wrote:
=/ ever think that god created u to be put in the position to be saved?
to me god is just a thing put in power by man in which to use his own selfish reason to do things insted of logic.

My response:
I don't get off on trying to inflate my ego by foolishly thinking God or our existence is a concept i could ever really be an authority on.
I know what I believe in my heart. Should it be ignorant, then so be it and so should you leave me to it. It is what works for me. Sorry if its not your thing

We are human. We all have doubts from time to time about our beliefs. It is our nature whether you believe in God or not. Even those who don't believe in God will have a moment where they will feel anxiety thinking "What if I'm wrong and there is a God?"
Fact: In this life we probably won't be let in on life's mystery. So make it what you want and have conviction in what you choose. At least if you are wrong, your actions are still honorable.
My Personal Belief:

I know in my heart there is a power higher than I. I believe that higher power is GOD. I believe HE gave his only begotten SON, JESUS CHRIST, to die for our sins and HE is the way to ever-lasting life. I am guided by HIS presence everyday by the HOLLY SPIRIT. I will strive to live my life in a way that pleases HIM. I can do nothing without HIM, but anything through HIM. I am a child of God.

He gave me free will. I make my own decisions in life and I have sole responsibility for them, but I would be a fool if I thought he did not influence them.

p.s. I'm not being argumentative....just replying. I think you are curious to what I might say back; your whole reason behind the message right?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EdwinDate: May 20, 2007 4:20 PM
=/ ever think that god created u to be put in the position to be saved?
to me god is just a thing put in power by man in which to use his own selfish reason to do things insted of logic.

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Saved By The Grace of God...Again!

My mother said probably the best thing anyone has said to me at the exact right moment. When I lost my job she said, "Honey, I think maybe God is saving you from yourself." That hit me so hard, those words went deep into the core of my being. It has touched me so deeply I know God guided my mother in helping me deal with this crossroad in life.

When I lost my all important, big professional time demanding job I was CRUSHED! I thought..."This is what I have been working for my whole life. Who am I without a successful career?" I've let my career drive define me for so long and I have cared WAY to much about what people would think about me if I wasn't successful. It has taken me over. I convinced myself that the job was going to be good for my family. It is the best thing I could do for Mike and I to prepare for having a family together.

Why? Because the money? The money wasn't ALL that. Really after thinking about it now, I realize that job was one of the most selfish things I have ever done. I put myself and my ego before my husband and my future family. I would have never been home. I was already convincing Mike that I could handle the career and a baby, but I was really just trying to convince myself. Respect, Money, Power....I was being taken over by greed and indulging my ego at any cost without even realizing that the cost would be my own Happiness!

God has saved me from myself. I am soooo happy right now. I FINALLY know who I am and what I want out of life. I am a WIFE who loves her husband with every tiny space I have in my heart. I will be a MOTHER one day. I will work not for recognition, but to help my husband support a family. I will take pride in the work I do, but I will never put it before my family. My husband will be my provider and I will be his supporter. Nothing will make me happier than to do a job well and come home to a loving family. When I leave this world I don't want my biggest accomplishment to be my career, I want it to be my family and touching the lives of others.

I started the RCIA program right before I was offered the deputy fire marshal position, which is the program the Catholic church has for adults to become Catholic. I started my "faith journey" with my Write of Welcome and I believe all of this has been HIS plan for me. I truly believe God has lead me through this journey to look deep within myself so I can finally throw out this plan I had made for myself and that would only lead me to self-destruction....to knowing his plan for me, the way to true peace and happiness.

Thank you God, for saving me from myself....Again! :)

Update: I took an administrative asst. position with an architecture & engineering firm in Raleigh. Doing the 8-5 thing. We are moving back to Raleigh, NC. We are sooo excited to be close to our friends again, who really are our family here. Life is Good, God is Great!

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It's Just Not Working Out....

My probation period ended with the Fire Marshal's Office and they let me go. After all that work, training, classes, paying dues, biting my tongue. My boss always said "Trust, Loyalty, and Honesty" was all he asked of me. And what do I get in return? A knife in my back. People would talk so much trash about my boss to me and I never once said one bad thing. I feel so stupid for trusting him.

It's just not working out! Totally out of nowhere. How do you go from getting job shirts with your name on them, business cards, told that your exit interview for probation would be no sweat they are definitely keeping you...don't worry I won't fire you....to....I'm sorry it's just not working out?

There were questions put to me about how I would handle certain things in light of me being a woman. Like securing a fire crime scene over night. Getting the respect of the fire departments. How serious is this liver disorder of yours? How often you do you think you might miss work? Do you want to have kids? When and how do you plan on handling that without making "the job" suffer. Gonna have fun this weekend, don't get knocked up. I don't want to have to get you new uniforms. But you and I know that is just the kind of crap you take to show that you aren't easily offended. You know how it goes. You go with it and eventually once they see you aren't some crazy feminist they'll lay off a bit. The jokes are just part of the environment, like initiation.

I noted these red flags but brushed it off. I was repeatedly assured that I was doing a great job, becoming a contributing member of the office team, blah, blah, learning and training so quickly. I'll give you more responsibility when I think you are ready. Right now I just want you to focus on inspections. Then, I'm sorry it's just not going to be a good fit. You haven't shown me enough for me to think you can handle this position. Well he was the one who hired me in the first place. He saw my qualifications and hired me.

Truth being, my boss man is 5yrs. from retiring and he is burnt out. HE doesn't feel like he has the time to train me to take over his position fast enough. So he tried to get budget money to hire another Deputy and he was denied. What's a guy to do? No more money in the budget. Don't want to spend the time to train anyone. Burnt out and wants to off load all his work onto someone else. Oh, I know....let the chick go to hire someone that I can get to do all of the work for me without any training required! Plus he had already made comments about how he was getting shit from the fire department for hiring a women. I'm sure he's getting a few pats on the back for getting rid of me. It just sucks that politics play so much into the job.

He said that he didn't see that I was progressing fast enough, yet he kept me so tight under his thumb never letting me show any potential. He said he was protecting me from the fire departments. He was always yelling at me, tearing me down to build me back up Marine style he would say but the building back up never happened, said I was his project and one day I would look back and respect everything he was doing for me by being so tough, one day he'd love to promote me to Fire Marshal and pin that badge on me but it was all up to me. He did nothing but call me a disappointment, tell me my four year degree in Fire Safety Engineering Technology and NAFI certifications were a joke. I worked so hard thinking he's just doing this to make me stronger. It sucks to work so hard to get somewhere in the fire community just to find out you are just another piece of somebody else's political agenda, just a big damn joke.

It's like he just wanted to get a pat on the back from county management for giving the girl a try (which every time he introduced me to people he'd say, never thought I'd hire a women did ya) and then turning around and getting another pat on the back from the fire departments for letting me go.

This was a dream job for me and I loved it! We moved 45mins. from Raleigh and our friends for this job. This is going to be very hard to bounce back from. It would be easier if I hated the job, but I really loved what I was doing. I can't imagine doing anything else that I would love as much and it was just stripped away from me without anything I could do about it.

I'm embarrassed to even go out into the county thinking that I may run into somebody from one of the fire departments. Lord knows what he told them as far as why I was let go. I think I am going to move back to Raleigh.

So please, please keep me and Mike in your prayers!

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I Can't Do It, Cuz I Can't Put My Back Into It

tell me why i am only 25 freakin' years old and i have thrown out my damn back. even worse, this is the second time i've done it. it hurts so bad that if you are able to walk you look like a crip and if you lean just right it takes your breathe away! i get through the day at work with the Lords help, come home and drug out. i haven't been able to accomplish much of anything. i did however rest up and with the use of a corsette for a back brace make it to my friend laura's bachelorette party. alcohol is always a great pain reliever! LOL ;) Pray for me! This sux!

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No Alcohol For 40 Days...

Did you ever see that movie "40 Days" where Josh Hartnett (who's totally hott by the way) gives up sex for Lent? I did and I remember thinking "40 days, phew that's not that long." Boy was I wrong!

This Easter I decided to get involved with practicing Lent to prepare for Easter. I went to a little group talk about Lent after church to learn all about it. We talked about turning away from a worldly "crutch" that we use as a substitute for God in our lives, Replacing that "crutch" with prayer, and looking beyond ourselves to help others. I was so inspired I decided that I was going to give up my BIGGEST crutch. I was going to give up ALCOHOL.

I have been holding it together, but it has been so hard. Should I remind you that St. Patty's Day falls during Lent...yeah. That was tough, no green beer for me. People at work have even tried to help me find loop holes in my plan saying "technically you said alcohol, you could still have beer". Many a nights I've denied myself a calming glass of wine with dinner. Or my fave, a nice big Perfect Margarita from Applebee's.

For the giving back part, Mike gave up his morning coffee shack stop and he has taken the money he would have spent and put it aside to feed the hungry. I raised money for MADD with my 5K.

With Easter approaching I feel very proud that not even a drop of alcohol has touched these lips. I feel very connected with the events of this Easter and closer to God.
...but I think next year I'll give up my "Diet" instead.

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Our First Home Project

Mike and I tackeld our first home project this weekend....The Fire Ring! We love havin' a fire and a cold beer so....we built an area just to do that in our very own backyard.

Wanna campout in our backyard? Bring some beers and a tent and have at it! I mean look at it! My backyard ROX!!! Country never looked so good did it? For you city dwellin' folk I send my deepest regards, how's that traffic and smog treatin' ya? : )

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My Sex Advice Published on Nerve.Com

Check it out! I was interviewed by my friend Emily Farris (New York) for a sex advice featured article. Don't Cha Wish You Girlfriend Was So Sexual That People Published Your Sex Life For All Too See.....LOL....Sorry Honey! But it's totally HOTT....so hit the link and take a peek! :)
http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/realestateagents/

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