Sunday, December 04, 2005

With the holiday season already in full swing, I wanted to share this attached article about my mama with you. Please read it, take it to heart, and when you are out at those holiday parties think twice before you get behind the wheel of your car. Help make sure that what my mama is going through is not for nothing....be safe in her honor, to respect me as your friend, and to protect yourself and life as you know it! One person can make a difference, that one time you don't risk it...you might be saving a wonderful person from despair....like my mama! God Bless you all!

(above: Happy picture of my mother before her accident.)


Crash
How one car accident can ruin so much more

With her daughter's college graduation just a month away, Vicki Boyles' life seemed perfect. She had a job that she loved, living independently with a new car. At 46 years old her world seemed complete.

After volunteering her time at a public TV auction with some co-workers from The Examiner, she said goodbye to her friends and headed home. At 1 a.m. the streets were empty as Boyles took her usual route home.

On the other side of town Steven Duve, who had just broken up with his girlfriend the night before, had spent the evening partying away his sorrows. According to Duve's recorded deposition acquired by The Examiner, at 1 a.m. he was looking for a place to spend the night. The two would cross paths that night, only for a fraction of a second, but long enough to change Boyles' life forever.

The police report states that Duve's pickup was going 74 mph when it slammed into the back of Boyles' car as she was waiting for the light to turn green at U.S. 24 and Noland Road in Independence. Looking at the stoplight is the last thing Boyles remembers of April 23, 2004.

"Even though I can't remember the day," Boyles said, "I'll never forget the date."
The impact sent Boyles' car into a spin as it flipped across the intersection with Duve's truck landing on top of it.

Submitted Photo
This is Vicki Boyles' accident scene, April 23, 2004. At right is the rear of Boyles' car. At left is the front of the pickup over on its driver side door.
When the paramedics arrived they found Boyles unresponsive with one leg up on the dashboard, her body twisted between the seats and her head on the passenger floorboard full of blood. Duve walked away with only a scratch but, according to the police report, was taken to detention because of an outstanding warrant for careless driving.

The first diagnosis was that Boyles had a back fracture and a brain hemorrhage. They left her cracked skull open so that the fluid would drain out to reduce the swelling.

"When I got out of intensive care I remember telling the neurosurgeon thanks for everything. He said that most head injuries like I received end up in a coma-like state and that he's just the instrument, through God's hands, that saved me," Boyles said.

After being released from the hospital Boyles, who could not drive and was living in constant excruciating pain from her back injuries, moved in with a friend.

Paul Beaver/The Examiner
Vicki Boyles of Independence holds her stack of medical records that she has collected after her April 23, 2004,accident. Her room is filled with angels and the large stuffed bear 'Snowflake' that she keeps for her daughter.
"My life has changed. I can't do what I did before, but I thank God for good friends," Boyles said, especially referring to Bill Brackenberry, who opened his house and heart to a friend in need.

"The impact basically cracked her back like a whip." Brackenberry said "It's damaged all the way up and down to a certain extent. She'll spend the rest of her life trying to recover."
After MRIs, epidurals and surgeries it was determined that nothing else can be done for the injuries she sustained on her back. Pain pills are now her constant companion.
The head injury affected her short-term memory, speech and balance.

"I have two large file folders to keep all of my paperwork in from the doctors, speech therapist and surgeries," Boyles said. "Plus, I have a daily to-do list because if I don't write it down when I think about it, I'll forget."

Although the fault of the crash was clearly Duve's, he did not have insurance at the time, and thus Boyles' insurance was responsible for all of her medical issues. Eventually, worries about her injuries became entangled with financial problems as she lost her job when her family medical leave benefits ran out. The medical field has determined that she is unable to work, although Social Security has denied her benefits. She lives on long-term disability that basically just covers her medical bills.

Paul Beaver/The Examiner
Vicki Boyles is frustrated after getting copies of the public driving record of the man that hit her and learning that because mistakes were made by various people on her case the man had charges reduced against him in the April 23, 2004, accident.


Duve, according to police records, was charged with a DUI and careless driving. He was also charged with a city charge of possession of marijuana and paraphanalia. He plea bargained down to possession of controlled substance and received two years on probation. His license was revoked for one year, and he attended drug and alcohol classes and is subject to random urine tests.

Traci Stansell, assistant Jackson County prosecutor, said often plea agreements, such as this one, come from having to consider the evidence and opportunity to prosecute with a harsher penalty. "The guilty plea concluded the criminal matter," she said. Duve was contacted by The Examiner for this story but declined comment.

Boyles didn't get the chance to come face to face with Duve, as the court didn't notify her of the date of his hearing, nor did it provide her with a victim's advocate.

"Sometimes, I just want him to have a face with the person he hit," Boyles said. egan Carter, victim service coordinator for the Prosecutor's Office, said advocates' priority cases are murder, sex crimes and domestic violence. Their job is making sure victim's rights are not violated, acting as a liaison between the police departments and department of corrections and accompanying the victim to the courtroom.

Paul Beaver/The Examiner
Vicki Boyles asks direction on what to do next from Avis Lowe, Cass-Heartland MADD chapter victim advocate, at a November chapter meeting in Grandview, Mo.But because Duve pleaded early in the process, an advocate was never assigned.

"Sometimes I feel like the system failed me," Boyles said. "It's not about the money, and I'm not being vindictive, I just want it to sink into him what he did so he doesn't do it again."
Boyles' biggest concern now is how to pay for medical treatment. "Very soon my COBRA (insurance for those who become ineligible to be part of a group insurance through the loss of a job) availability will be over, I'm not sure what I'll do then," Boyles said.

As time progresses, more problems appear from the injuries sustained more than a year ago. Most recently she underwent eye surgery to realign her eyes, which were jarred so hard it affected her vision.

Boyles' time is now spent taking medication as she deals with the pain of not only her injuries but of what she has lost - her independence, her job, her health and most importantly her peace of mind.

"I feel bad that my daughter has to explain to people when I slur my speech or weave when I walk that I'm not drunk - I'm impaired," Boyles says with tear glistened eyes.
Examiner reporter Robert Hite contributed to this story.

Paul Beaver/The Examiner
Standing at the counter of the Jackson County Courthouse Records office Vicki Boyles cries as she realizes that because people various people working on her April 23, 2004, traffic accident made mistakes the driver that hit her had some charges dropped and she was not notified of his court dates. She cries because she has been significantly effected by her injuries and the other driver is walking free.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thanksgiving.....Remember To Give Thanks Where Thanks is Due! God Bless You and Your Family!
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Addicted to the
Someone really needs to stop me. This is a real problem. I think about Bebo all day long. I look for opportunities to Bebo. I have neglected things to Bebo, such as cleaning and laundry. I have blown off watching favorite TV shows with Mike to Bebo. I have even gone so far as to Bebo at work....I KNOW! Somebody, anybody, I am desperately in need of an intervention... Hear my cry for help!
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Saturday, November 12, 2005


The Wife "DO"
I have done what I said I wouldn't do. I have chopped off my hair! Girls always do that after they get married, why is that?
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Friday, November 11, 2005

wedding pictures.........


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Sunday, October 30, 2005


Bachelorette Party, OH MY....

I just got the pictures back from my bachelorette party and boy did I have a good time. It is times like these I am thankful for the friend that brings the camera to everything, cuz I probably wouldn't have known how much fun I had otherwise (intoxication). Thankfully, though crazy, all was in good taste (or at least I think so, Mike may think differently.... he, he, he).

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

Feeling Blue...
So Halloween is my favorite festivity! I have been planning with friends for weeks for this day. The Saturday before Halloween, oh the possibilities. Halloween is actually Monday, but we work so Saturday day/night is where it is at for us. Now tell me, why of all times am I sick. I am dead as a door knob. I am an absolute mess and extra cranky due to missing the parties I wanted to attend. Well at least I married a good guy, cuz I am sure he thinks he is really in HELL having to take care of me tonight. What a bummer......
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Saturday, October 22, 2005


Fall Fun
Fall is my season! I like the weather, the colors are great, and I look better in fall clothes. I am always looking for Fall Fun Activities and this year we went to a Corn Maze. It was 6 acres of twisting, turning,confusing fun. We were in there for like 2 hours. We were no threat of breaking any records for reaching the end. Great way to spend an afternoon with friends and really enjoy that lovely fall weather.
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Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Honeymoon Is Over...
but not soon forgotten. Mike and I had such a perfect honeymoon I wanted to share it with you. The PG parts of our honeymoon of course. I am sorry I haven't been able to write more about the Wedding yet, but soon I hope things will settle down. Plus we haven't even seen the pictures ourselves yet. My plan is to cover the events in reverse order...Mexico, Wedding, and then Bachelorette Party. Our Honeymoon was in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We stayed at the Dreams Resort and Day Spa and oohhh was it muy fab-u-loso. Puerto Vallarta era así que no deseamos bastante irnos. Los locals eran tan hospitalarios. El recurso era muesca superior. Total, era una luna de miel cabida para un superstar. See for yourself.
Our Honeymoon

(click)
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Sunday, September 25, 2005

Return From The Clouds
I am back from my blogging hiatus. We were wed and honeymooned,
the center of the universe for a week, and now we are back to live life
with the rest of the everyday people. I will post pictures and details soon.
Right now, sleep is top priority!
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Sunday, August 14, 2005

FUN IN THE SUN

Last night we went to the Kenny Chesney/Gretchen Wilson, Somewhere In the Sun Tour. I decided to dress for the occasion and "cowgirl up". Though people who have never ventured out from their urban bubble may think this is normal attire for a mid-west native... I have NEVER dressed like this before. I never even dressed like this during my time spent in college in Kentucky. I was out of my element but had an awesome time. Maybe I have been in denial this whole time because last night I was having the time of my life. Tight jeans, cute hats, ice cold beer, great live music and rowdy rowdy folks that were "here for the party".
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Friday, August 12, 2005

Hot Wheels

I would just like to take a moment to thank God for my many blessings! And what a blessing! Due to Mike's career change he needed to take daily ownership of our Dodge Ram, which left me with no vehicle. After a little hard work and searching I found something to fill the void of my truck. I must say spinning around in this baby will have anyone saying Dodge what?

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

The Title of Bread Winner Has Been Passed...
Mike, my fiance, landed the big job we both have been jumping through hoops for him to get. I am so excited and proud! So far I have been the "bread winner" of our little three member family (we have a little dog named Roxy, photo left) and believe it or not it is a relief to know that the pressure has been lifted. Don't get me wrong...I want to be successful and by no means am I planning on getting comfortable with my career. It is really nice to feel like I have an equal partner in life. What good timing to have this feeling too, the wedding is in like thirty some days. Oh yes, Roxy is also very proud of her dad!

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I had this great idea to make the invitations
for our wedding so they would be unique and less expensive.
FYI: Your time and sanity are also something worth saving.
Though I was feeling much like an overworked
elf in Santa's workshop from Hell...
overall I am pleased with how they turned out. Even if they
did cause unnecessary stress and paper cuts.
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Sunday, July 24, 2005



It should be quite obvious from my last posting that things have gotten a little crazy and stressful in my life. The wedding is approaching, I have my review for my job, and my fiance has been interviewing for a clutch new job. I was frustrated at life. And then, Life reminded why it was so great. My fiance and I needed to go to the beach to take care of wedding details. I was none-to excited knowing it was going to be all business. No play time for Sarah! When we got to the beach our appointments that I thought would take all day were taken care of before lunch. Usually the pace of life at the beach is a slow crawl, but not this weekend. Everyone was on the ball and before I knew it we had a whole day for whatever. Mike and I did something we have not done in a long time. We relaxed! We had the best day! We went to the historical little town of Beaufort. We wondered through the little privately owned shops, ate fresh seafood, toured a 300yr. old cemetery that was oddly and creepily beautiful, saw blackbeard's shack of a house, and the best part we took a sunset cruise passed the HMS Bounty (the pirate ship used in Pirates of the Caribbean). What a differance a day makes! I wish everyone could have the chance to experience a day like this! I am refreshed, recharged, and ready for whatever life has to throw at me. As long as life throws me a few more days like this...I'm good.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

...
Why does my "to do" list keep growing despite my best attempts to mark off the items?
Why do I get so fired up about things, just to make a plan of action that never takes flight?
If life is just about motions with no real finish line, why plan and worry and stress!!???!!
Why can't I ever be satisfied?
Where does this come from?
Where did I get the impression that I should be Perfect!! UUGGHHH!
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Sunday, June 26, 2005

I recently read a blog written by a single person expressing the difficulties of being single when it seems like all their friends have taken on bagged roles in their life, such as marriage or family. Upon contemplation of this I felt that someone should voice the difficulties of being in either a long term relationship, engagement, or the "cart before the horse scenario" children without marriage. When you are in such relationships / circumstances you are in what I like to call a "dead zone". Let me explain the reason behind my terminology. The "dead zone" is the social deprivment and isolation from your single friends and the lack of acceptance into the married domain. You are now on no one's social A-list except for other "dead zoners". Examples: 1.) Your single friends are planning a wild trip to Las Vegas filled with sleepless nights, drinks, and checking out the sites. Do you get an invite? No. They have already had visions of the trip in their head and decided your "dead zone" status would slow them down. They have decided for you that the trip would be inapropriate considering you have someone at home to worry about, whether it be a sig. other or a lil' one. 2.) A set of your married friends are entertaining; a backyard barbecue. Are you invited? Nah. They have decided for you that they would bore you with married / family talk. Even if you are planning to get married or have been with your sig. other for longer than they have been married themselves...there is no way you can possibly relate. So singles, at least your social group is large and endless with possibilities. Those of us in the "dead zone" are outcasts of both worlds.
(Photo above "Dead Zoners: My fiance and I")
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...a "twenty-something" sits before an empty blog posting screen slightly nervous to create something so unstructured to be shared so publicly...she has read the witty blogs of those deeply into the blog culture, they seem so enlightened these "blogganites". She thinks to herself who has the time to set-aside to pour out thoughts for the world to read and why do they think that their thoughts are so weighty. Well, I am not sure what the attraction is to this phenomenon of open-book living; however, this ol' dog is always open to new tricks. So here it is world, my first time as a blogger.
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