GOD or No GOD?

Since I talk of God alot in my blogs I have recently gotten messages from people trying to get a rise out of me debating if God is real. I wanted to share one of these messages with you and my reply.

He wrote:
=/ ever think that god created u to be put in the position to be saved?
to me god is just a thing put in power by man in which to use his own selfish reason to do things insted of logic.

My response:
I don't get off on trying to inflate my ego by foolishly thinking God or our existence is a concept i could ever really be an authority on.
I know what I believe in my heart. Should it be ignorant, then so be it and so should you leave me to it. It is what works for me. Sorry if its not your thing

We are human. We all have doubts from time to time about our beliefs. It is our nature whether you believe in God or not. Even those who don't believe in God will have a moment where they will feel anxiety thinking "What if I'm wrong and there is a God?"
Fact: In this life we probably won't be let in on life's mystery. So make it what you want and have conviction in what you choose. At least if you are wrong, your actions are still honorable.
My Personal Belief:

I know in my heart there is a power higher than I. I believe that higher power is GOD. I believe HE gave his only begotten SON, JESUS CHRIST, to die for our sins and HE is the way to ever-lasting life. I am guided by HIS presence everyday by the HOLLY SPIRIT. I will strive to live my life in a way that pleases HIM. I can do nothing without HIM, but anything through HIM. I am a child of God.

He gave me free will. I make my own decisions in life and I have sole responsibility for them, but I would be a fool if I thought he did not influence them.

p.s. I'm not being argumentative....just replying. I think you are curious to what I might say back; your whole reason behind the message right?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EdwinDate: May 20, 2007 4:20 PM
=/ ever think that god created u to be put in the position to be saved?
to me god is just a thing put in power by man in which to use his own selfish reason to do things insted of logic.

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Saved By The Grace of God...Again!

My mother said probably the best thing anyone has said to me at the exact right moment. When I lost my job she said, "Honey, I think maybe God is saving you from yourself." That hit me so hard, those words went deep into the core of my being. It has touched me so deeply I know God guided my mother in helping me deal with this crossroad in life.

When I lost my all important, big professional time demanding job I was CRUSHED! I thought..."This is what I have been working for my whole life. Who am I without a successful career?" I've let my career drive define me for so long and I have cared WAY to much about what people would think about me if I wasn't successful. It has taken me over. I convinced myself that the job was going to be good for my family. It is the best thing I could do for Mike and I to prepare for having a family together.

Why? Because the money? The money wasn't ALL that. Really after thinking about it now, I realize that job was one of the most selfish things I have ever done. I put myself and my ego before my husband and my future family. I would have never been home. I was already convincing Mike that I could handle the career and a baby, but I was really just trying to convince myself. Respect, Money, Power....I was being taken over by greed and indulging my ego at any cost without even realizing that the cost would be my own Happiness!

God has saved me from myself. I am soooo happy right now. I FINALLY know who I am and what I want out of life. I am a WIFE who loves her husband with every tiny space I have in my heart. I will be a MOTHER one day. I will work not for recognition, but to help my husband support a family. I will take pride in the work I do, but I will never put it before my family. My husband will be my provider and I will be his supporter. Nothing will make me happier than to do a job well and come home to a loving family. When I leave this world I don't want my biggest accomplishment to be my career, I want it to be my family and touching the lives of others.

I started the RCIA program right before I was offered the deputy fire marshal position, which is the program the Catholic church has for adults to become Catholic. I started my "faith journey" with my Write of Welcome and I believe all of this has been HIS plan for me. I truly believe God has lead me through this journey to look deep within myself so I can finally throw out this plan I had made for myself and that would only lead me to self-destruction....to knowing his plan for me, the way to true peace and happiness.

Thank you God, for saving me from myself....Again! :)

Update: I took an administrative asst. position with an architecture & engineering firm in Raleigh. Doing the 8-5 thing. We are moving back to Raleigh, NC. We are sooo excited to be close to our friends again, who really are our family here. Life is Good, God is Great!

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It's Just Not Working Out....

My probation period ended with the Fire Marshal's Office and they let me go. After all that work, training, classes, paying dues, biting my tongue. My boss always said "Trust, Loyalty, and Honesty" was all he asked of me. And what do I get in return? A knife in my back. People would talk so much trash about my boss to me and I never once said one bad thing. I feel so stupid for trusting him.

It's just not working out! Totally out of nowhere. How do you go from getting job shirts with your name on them, business cards, told that your exit interview for probation would be no sweat they are definitely keeping you...don't worry I won't fire you....to....I'm sorry it's just not working out?

There were questions put to me about how I would handle certain things in light of me being a woman. Like securing a fire crime scene over night. Getting the respect of the fire departments. How serious is this liver disorder of yours? How often you do you think you might miss work? Do you want to have kids? When and how do you plan on handling that without making "the job" suffer. Gonna have fun this weekend, don't get knocked up. I don't want to have to get you new uniforms. But you and I know that is just the kind of crap you take to show that you aren't easily offended. You know how it goes. You go with it and eventually once they see you aren't some crazy feminist they'll lay off a bit. The jokes are just part of the environment, like initiation.

I noted these red flags but brushed it off. I was repeatedly assured that I was doing a great job, becoming a contributing member of the office team, blah, blah, learning and training so quickly. I'll give you more responsibility when I think you are ready. Right now I just want you to focus on inspections. Then, I'm sorry it's just not going to be a good fit. You haven't shown me enough for me to think you can handle this position. Well he was the one who hired me in the first place. He saw my qualifications and hired me.

Truth being, my boss man is 5yrs. from retiring and he is burnt out. HE doesn't feel like he has the time to train me to take over his position fast enough. So he tried to get budget money to hire another Deputy and he was denied. What's a guy to do? No more money in the budget. Don't want to spend the time to train anyone. Burnt out and wants to off load all his work onto someone else. Oh, I know....let the chick go to hire someone that I can get to do all of the work for me without any training required! Plus he had already made comments about how he was getting shit from the fire department for hiring a women. I'm sure he's getting a few pats on the back for getting rid of me. It just sucks that politics play so much into the job.

He said that he didn't see that I was progressing fast enough, yet he kept me so tight under his thumb never letting me show any potential. He said he was protecting me from the fire departments. He was always yelling at me, tearing me down to build me back up Marine style he would say but the building back up never happened, said I was his project and one day I would look back and respect everything he was doing for me by being so tough, one day he'd love to promote me to Fire Marshal and pin that badge on me but it was all up to me. He did nothing but call me a disappointment, tell me my four year degree in Fire Safety Engineering Technology and NAFI certifications were a joke. I worked so hard thinking he's just doing this to make me stronger. It sucks to work so hard to get somewhere in the fire community just to find out you are just another piece of somebody else's political agenda, just a big damn joke.

It's like he just wanted to get a pat on the back from county management for giving the girl a try (which every time he introduced me to people he'd say, never thought I'd hire a women did ya) and then turning around and getting another pat on the back from the fire departments for letting me go.

This was a dream job for me and I loved it! We moved 45mins. from Raleigh and our friends for this job. This is going to be very hard to bounce back from. It would be easier if I hated the job, but I really loved what I was doing. I can't imagine doing anything else that I would love as much and it was just stripped away from me without anything I could do about it.

I'm embarrassed to even go out into the county thinking that I may run into somebody from one of the fire departments. Lord knows what he told them as far as why I was let go. I think I am going to move back to Raleigh.

So please, please keep me and Mike in your prayers!

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I Can't Do It, Cuz I Can't Put My Back Into It

tell me why i am only 25 freakin' years old and i have thrown out my damn back. even worse, this is the second time i've done it. it hurts so bad that if you are able to walk you look like a crip and if you lean just right it takes your breathe away! i get through the day at work with the Lords help, come home and drug out. i haven't been able to accomplish much of anything. i did however rest up and with the use of a corsette for a back brace make it to my friend laura's bachelorette party. alcohol is always a great pain reliever! LOL ;) Pray for me! This sux!

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